Common Mistakes Made by Men on Matchmaking Sites and Tips How to Avoid Them


Different people have different attitudes towards dating sites on the Internet, not to mention different experiences using these services. Some men and women easily find new dialog partners, friends, and soulmates: it seems that they only need a couple of days to find an interesting person to start communicating. At the same time, other people visit similar sites but can’t succeed in their research or are repeatedly rejected by the opposite sex. What is the difference between these two groups of users? Appearance? Doubtful. Maybe people from the first group are better conversationalists? To some extent, this is true, but this is not the main factor. Specialists and dating sites owners, who monitor the services regularly, say that a lot of people make the same mistakes, which lead to a failure – no matter whether it is a Russian brides club or a local site. Let’s review the top-five most frequent mistakes men make on dating sites: what they do wrong and how to correct it.

1. Pessimism, focus on problems.

All of us have problems and difficulties in life, but we prefer not to share them with people who we’ve just got to know. The same is about online communication. You can be 100% sure that nobody wants to listen (or read) about your problems, such as:

– your ex’s mean nature;

– your financial difficulties;

– your health problems;

– your questions about a lack of decent girls around you;

– your complaints about anything.

You may continue this list with a dozen of other things that are obviously not interesting to other people, especially on a dating site. Here girls expect from you positive emotions, compliments, smiles, and jokes. If you can’t joke or don’t like doing it, just try to be open, sincere, and courteous.

2. Focus on sex.

If you are not on a specific site where people are looking for sexual partners then focusing only on sex is a bad idea. Most matchmaking websites are intended for finding life partners – wives and husbands. Ninety percent of women (if not 99%) have no desire to read your sexual fantasies. The same is true about dubious and cheap compliments. Even hot Colombian brides, who look sexy and alluring, are normally not inclined to speaking about sex. If you start communicating using remarks regarding her bust size or buttocks shape, your chances for success are zero. Moreover, you at risk to be added to the website’s black-list forever.

3. Rudeness, demonstrating your superiority.

Even though women from developing countries often date foreign men in order to improve their financial position, and though they have grown up in patriarchal societies, where men are the head of the family, they are still modern women. And they don’t allow rude attitude or violence. After all, the primary aim of any woman is to escape from her current life and find a modern caring man, who will treat her with love and respect. Don’t demonstrate your masculinity in such a way; don’t be rude, and don’t humiliate your prospective girlfriend. Be gentle and tactful, and she will appreciate it.

4. Exaggerating your benefits, trying to seem better than you are.

Nobody likes liars. If you are ashamed of your education, or your work, or your income, or anything else, just avoid these topics. Don’t exaggerate your merits. Firstly, most women have good intuition and know perfectly well when a man is insincere. Secondly, if you are planning to continue your relationship in real life in the future, you’ll have to tell the truth one day anyway. Think about how you would resolve this problem. Our general advice is to be sincere! Don’t be afraid, or ashamed, to tell the truth about yourself, your goals, and so on. Women highly appreciate it. And be mindful that not all girls are hunting for big money. For most of them, a kind heart and mild temper are more important.

5. Writing with grammar mistakes, misspelling.

It should not be a problem nowadays when all smart devices (smartphones, tablets, and PCs) offer the features of auto-correction and predictive text input. However still, many men manage to make rude grammar mistakes or don’t care what and how they write. If you don’t want to be a bookless, illiterate person in her eyes, mind what you write.

There are some other annoying habits of men that irritate most women. In particular, women are not over-enthusiastic about men who haven’t a word to throw at a dog. If the entire dialog consists of your “yes,” “no,” and “Ummm,” chances are that the girl will get bored in ten minutes maximum. Also, women don’t like dull beggars. If you are inclined to long monologues and like to describe every little thing in punctilious detail, then you should revise your approach.

If you want to succeed on dating sites, behave like all normal men behave in real life. Be courteous, gentle, polite, and don’t be ashamed to ask questions about your dialog partner. Treat her as a beautiful woman you like. Be sincere and open, and your chances for success will grow exponentially.


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