Online Dating: Do You Really Need Luck?
If you read user reviews of dating websites, you’ll see that sometimes opinions of different people are quite the opposite. This is true for both men and women, but especially for men. While some representatives of the stronger sex easily find girls of their dreams and build strong long-term relationships with them or even get married, others face failure after failure, and finally get disappointed and write negative reviews of these dating site agencies. They claim that it is impossible to find a real woman online, and all these online matrimonial agencies are just a money grab.
Can such different results be explained merely by the luckiness of some men and unluckiness of others? Fat chance. In fact, different men use different approaches. Some of these approaches work, and others – don’t work. Interestingly enough, a lot of men repeat the same mistakes.
Common Mistakes Men Make on Matchmaking Sites
No matter whether you are on a local dating site in search for a woman living in your city, or a Colombian mail-order brides platform, try not to make these mistakes if you want to find a girl for a serious romantic relationship or marriage.
– Abstain from cheap jokes and dirty hints. Even if the girl is really hot and sexy, and even if she posts photos of herself in a bikini, do not resort to these antics. 95 percent of girls hate it when a man starts the conversation with a “bedroom” topic or with a description of his sexual preferences. Cheap jokes and dubious compliments don’t add to you machismo or sex appeal. They make you look like a bothered, under-confident man who has obvious problems with women.
– Don’t send standard polite phrases to a hundred of women. It is not a courtesy, it is spam, and women perfectly feel it. Choose a woman that you really like, don’t be lazy to read her portfolio and try to write something non-standard and individualistic. It doesn’t mean that you must compose poems or something of the kind. It may be just a couple of short phrases, for example, “Hi, Diana. You seem to be a very nice girl and an interesting person. I’ve read that your dream is to visit Paris one day. Let’s dream together?”
– Don’t replace text with smileys and emoji. Smiles are a great way to make a conversation more diverse and alive, but when an adult man uses them non-stop, it looks silly – as if he can’t express his thoughts and emotions with words.
– Don’t complain about your life and don’t weigh her down with your problems. First, women don’t like crape-hangers. Second, they have their own problems, and they are not inclined to listen to your life stories. Third, your goal is to find a soulmate, not a shoulder to cry on, right?
– Care about your orthography. Though not all women are grammar-Nazis, a man making three mistakes in one word doesn’t look too clever.
What is the Right Strategy?
If you still rely on the mistakes listed above, stop doing them and change your strategy! You may wonder what the right approach is.
Well, according to mass surveys, the majority of girls expect the following behavior from men:
– Be natural and sincere. Don’t try to seem better than you really are. You may be not the most handsome man in the world, but you are individual, and you have much to tell me about. Tell me about your hobbies, your funny habits, or your dog!
– At the same time, don’t turn the conversation into a monologue about yourself and your merits. Ask questions and show your interest in the answers.
– Make compliments, but don’t flatter too much. Imagine that you see a real girl by your side – what would you tell her?
– Let your dialog partner know that you really like her and that you want to continue your communication. Ask when she is free to talk next time. Express your hope for the next “meeting.” And don’t forget to “come” online on time.
Apart from everything, specialists do not recommend delaying a real-life meeting. If you like each other and feel that your virtual relations can grow into something more serious – arrange a meeting. If you live not far from each other, it is not a problem at all. Of course, things get more complicated when you deal, for example, with mail-order brides from Brazil. If you live in different countries, it can be rather difficult to reach out each other. In that case, a video chat or Skype can become a solution. But in any case, you need to talk in real time in order to get to know each other better. It also prevents both of you from building up an ideal picture in your mind and have it clash with reality later on.
Be positive about communicating on dating sites and take it easy. Even if you don’t find a woman of your dreams, you’ll at least grab a new exciting experience, and maybe find new friends and interesting people.